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Fuckwad of the Week Award: Oct 1st, 2001
RAW is The "Donny & Marie" show
. For those of you lucky enough to be too young to remember, Donny &
Marie were 2 of the Osmonds (a big geeky Mormon family aka the "white"
Jacksons). They had a cheesy variety show on tv back when people got
less than 10 channels. I was happy when it disappeared, but now it's
been resurrected in the weekly Shane & Steph show. Can't these 2 just
have their own show on a public access channel? Oh, I forgot.they have
"fans". That's right, they have about as many "fans" as Sara does,
which adds up to about the number of teeth in one of these fans mouths.
In other words, no more than 8.
Taker fans are all wondering what went wrong with the Last Ride. Blame
it on slippery material. Doesn't Test wear faux leather pants? Didn't
Rock have wind-pants on when *he* fucked up the Last Ride? I'm glad
they didn't fall backwards over the ropes. Taker would've landed on his
head and neck and ended up in paraplegic-land.
Well, what's a FuckWad column without any FuckWads?
1) Shane - for his line about "the whole bakery." Maybe if he
stayed away from pie, strudel, etc. he could lose some of that flab And
maybe if he stayed away from tv, more people would watch the show.
Remember his famous line, "It's not about *me*, it's about the
wrestlers." Uh-huh..
2) Heyman - for the whole Fax segment. The only thing I enjoyed
about that was seeing the fans behind him playing to the camera.
Usually, that kind of stuff annoys me, but this time it entertained me.
3) Spike and Torrie Wilson - for having the most awful ring
attire.
4) Big Show - for his denim outfit. The hat alone would've been
enough material to make a pair of jeans for Spike, so we wouldn't have
to see him in that "old lady swim suit" anymore.
5) The Caped Crusader (Helms?) - for his dry frizzy hair (and his
gimmick too)
6) Whoever thought up the brilliant (!) idea of having Molly join
him.
7) Kane - for *almost* catching up to Shane in the weight
department. He's starting to look a little "overstuffed" in that outfit.
8) The 3 way bimbo match - WTF was Lillian saying? And will we now
see *her* in the ring? I know, we already do, but as awful as she is
announcing (and yes, singing too), she'd be much worse at trying to
wrestle.
9) DDP - I don't know where they're going with this, but just end
it now! That picture on the wall behind him; was it DDP or was it Sara?
They look so much alike, I can't tell.
About the only things I liked (besides seeing Taker, and those people
behind Heyman) were when Tajiri kicked "giraffe-girl" in the ass and
JR's line: "This whole night has stunk." That's the first time in a
long time that I agree with something JR said.
I quit watching around that time, and didn't even bother to read what
happened afterwards. Let me guess..another Fax from Austin? Another
appearance from Shane?
Cenny
(Hoping to rid the Wrestling World of Donny & Marie McMahon..)