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Fuckwad of the Week Award: Oct 29th, 2001
It's disheartening to see RAW begin with 20 minutes of McMahons. It's
also annoying as hell. Add TNN's fucked up color to the show (yes, red
*still* equals orange) and it's enough to make me stick my head into the
bowl of Halloween candy and start grazing.
Is it my fault I bought too much? Is it my fault we live by a cemetary?
Is it my fault that little Johnny can't go trick-or-treating this year
because his fat-ass paranoid mom is afraid someone might give him
"tainted" candy? Is it my fault that nobody dresses up like a wrestler
anymore? (or should I say "nemore"?) Is it my fault that half the kids
who showed up were *still* dressed like the killer from the "Scream"
movies? I think they've been lost for the last 2 years and are just
wandering around the neighborhood, trying to find their way home. One
kid showed up as Andy Warhol, which I thought was very cool.
I'm suffering from a chocolate hangover today, so this is a "write your
own column" column. Just fill in the blanks with whatever word comes to
mind.
When the show begins with McMahon followed by McMahon followed by
McMahon, I just want to ___________. Vince picked Taker *first*, which
was _________. But he picked Kane too, which was ___________. I want
to take Austin's watch and shove it up his __________. I couldn't
believe Edge beat RVD. He must also be "beating" Patterson's
___________. Booker T is now pimping barf-a-roni. I thought that
commercial was _____________. I laughed when Taker called Jericho a
'sawed off pissant."
It reminded me of ___________. I wish Curtis ("Happy") Hughes would
come back and be Jericho's side kick again.
What's the point of this DDP gimmick? It sucks big _________ balls.
With the time they wasted on both that and the McMahons,
we could've seen two more matches with ___________ and _____________. I
think Big Show should grow his hair again. He looks like a pinhead.
Ever since I saw "The Mummy II" I keep picturing Rock as a big roach
scuttling around the walls and ceiling.
He also reminds me of a __________. The Lita & Stacey match was another
waste of time. Just think, we could've seen Billy Gunn instead! On
second thought...
Why was Regal shown shadow-boxing before his match? Oh.he was trying to
be like Sara. She's a __________.
JR asked Heyman, "What would you know about Football? It's a man's
sport." So, uh, what would JR know about it? I think he's a closet
__________.
It's always good to see Taker terrorize Vince. That was one of the
better parts of the show. That, and the sign that read "I see dead
people". All I saw was fat people. But then I quit looking at Shane and
Steph. They're both a couple of ____________.
I didn't bother watching the McMahon match. I knew it would suck. I
didn't even bother waiting around to see who would be "defective."
Can't say I'm surprised that it's WaaaAngle, though. This show was
____________.
Cenny
(Hoping to rid the Wrestling World of _____________