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Fuckwad of the Week Award: Feb 4th, 2002
2-04-02 RAW
My dog (and all his friends) want to thank JR for *not* saying
"scalded
dog" on this week's show. My dog also assures me that if he ever met JR
he wouldn't bite him because I don't allow him to eat pork.
I'm really looking forward to next Monday. Between the Winter Olympics
and the Westminster dog show, I'll have plenty to watch during the
"wedding." Of course, the entire show will probably center around
this
event (including "special guest appearances" by Linda and Shane) so
maybe I'd better miss RAW altogether.
In honor of JR, I'm writing this week's column in JR-format:
What was running down 4H's chest at the beginning of the show?
It reminded me of the pinkish liquid in a package of raw chicken.
How was Booker T able to know what to do when he didn't consult his handy palm
for directions first?
Looking at all the fake-blonde women (including Billy & Chuck) why do they
all have the same shade of fake-blonde?
Is only one shade of hair dye available to the WWF?
Stacy's long skinny legs and huge feet remind me of Olive Oyl. Benoit
reminds me of Popeye. Maybe when he comes back, she can team up with him.
Lawler is suffering from JR-itis: "Ric Fair.uh, Flair."/ "When
HHH had that quadriceps angle..uh, injury."
How long does it take for Goldust to get into his makeup?
Since Michael Cole has Brisco-ears, why does he wear his hair in a way that
calls attention to those huge ears?
Why did "Bride of Chucky", Billy Gunn, tell the ref to "Shut
your mouth."? Shouldn't his line be: "Open your mouth"?
Why was the picture of the nWo geezers in black and white? Maybe Hogan's orange
skin would've been too much of a shock to viewers.
Why were we subjected to hideous close-ups of Vinnie-face? I think Flair is
funny looking by himself, but standing next to Vince, Flair
actually looks good. This is yet another example of just how unattractive Vince
is!
Doesn't Patterson look gayer than usual?
The WWF is already pimping Wrestlemania. Here's something I don't understand:
The Super Bowl used the correct Roman numerals (XXXVI) instead of doing it the
vinnie-way and calling it "XXX-6".
Does Vince think football fans are smarter than wrestling fans? Why does he
cater to the idiot-fan and call it Wrestlemania X-8?
I guess it goes without saying that next year's will be "X-9"..
Just when I think Steph's hair can't get any more bizarre and her clothes can't
get any uglier, she proves me wrong!
I can't even imagine what her "maternity clothes" will look like.
Here's something I don't know the answer to, and I'm not sure I want to know:
What happens to implants during pregnancy? Does the original breast tissue grow
around them?
I hope it's all just a work, but at least if it's real, we'll eventually see
her disappear from tv.
Wonder of wonders- an actual wrestler has the Women's belt! It's too bad she
won't get to keep it long, though.
I'll bet Jazz loses the belt to some undeserving bimbo within the next week
or two.
Another fine performance by Taker, both in his promo and in his match.
At least *some* parts of the show are watchable!
Cenny
(Hoping to rid the Wrestling World of fake pregnancies *and* real ones too.)