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Fuckwad of the Week Award: Feb 25th, 2002
Old School obnoxiousness in a small easy-to-digest serving.
This week's FuckWad Award is presented to:
Scott Hall
The Undertaker possesses 4 (okay, 5) things *you* don't:
1) A middle name that is *not* "Alco"
2) Enough class *not* to keep a sliver of wood in his mouth all
the time, especially when he's talking. A mouthful of BeechNut
Wintergreen is always acceptable..
3) Clean hair
4) No desire to "get closer" to Steve Austin. Let's take a look
at your comments on RAW: "Austin - are you a man? 'Cause this is what I
want.And you know where I want it?"
5) Taker doesn't bear a startling resemblance to Snappy Sammy
Smoot*, but you do!
(* http://artie.com/comix/smoot.html )
MiniWads to:
a) Chuck - for his scary resemblance to Rikishi (minus about 300
pounds)
b) DDP - for being trapped forever in bad-gimmick-land
c) Big Show - the beard and dye job don't hide the fact that he
*still* sucks
d) Steph - for her weekly fashion faux pas. What would it take to
convince her that only a size 2 person (i.e. Jeff Hardy) should wear
that? (Actually, no one should wear that!) Jericho's clothes would be
too small for her. (hyar) If she insists on remaining on t.v. maybe she
should pair up with Shmo or Rikishi, so she'd look smaller...
e) Jericho - He went from foil shirts to hideous patterns. He
asked, "Did you feel that buzz?" Yep, I sure did, and it made me fall
asleep (although I woke up in time to see the Taker segment)
Sign: "Steph & Jericho: Bimbo and the Beast"
(Y2Gay's fans don't like it when he's called a "bimbo.")
Unanswerable questions:
Why did Taker have both a knitted cap and a hood over his head? Bad hair day?
Why did he assault Darn Dandruffsen?
Why is ol' Arn even on the show? For that matter, why is Mr. Per-fucked
on there? Why are Hall, Nash & Hogan on there? Why is Steph on there?
Etc. etc. etc.
Cenny
(Hoping to rid the Wrestling World of non-wrestlers and former wrestlers.)