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Fuckwad of the Week Award: Apr 8th, 2002
RAW is Rampaging Rednecks
I love when the show begins with Taker, especially when he's pissed off.
Who can blame him? Imagine being replaced in the main event at the next
ppv by none other than H-o-g-a-n. Notice what the first 3 letters of
his name spell? It figures.
Flair would be easier to understand with *no* teeth at all, rather than
those "thlipping denshurths". I was waiting for Taker to pull out
a
tube of dental glue and say "Fix-O-Dent and Forget it!" like those
people in the Fix-O-Dent commercials.
Notice how Austin had to come out and HOGan the spotlight? His promos
are getting stupider by the minute. He named every fuckin' thing Taker
was wearing and paused after each to incite a "what" from the idiots
in
the crowd. I notice he didn't mention "hair", probably because that's
something he doesn't know anything about. Sales of "What?" t-shirts
must
be down. Well, no wonder. They're probably only available at
wwf-shopzone (aka home of the t-shirt that costs as much as most Austin
fans earn in a week) They might sell better if they were available at
Wal-Mart (at a "Wal-Mart t-shirt price") and if they said "Huh?"
instead. That's right..rednecks say "Huh?" (at least they do around
here)
This week's column is short-n-shitty due to:
a) I have bronchitis and my meds put me in a narcotic haze,
causing me to doze throughout most of this week's RAW
b) I haven't even started doing my taxes yet and I only have a few
days left.
I did watch the UT/RVD match and caught JR's Weekly Verbal Fuck-Up. He said:
"Rob Van Dam goes with a *boog beet* to the face of the
Undertaker..uh..a *big boot*.uh."
I thought only big men could have a big boot (or is that a boog beet?)
I also noticed the scary Kevin Nash look-a-like in the front row and the
pink sign that read: "Undertaker - Will you marry me?"
No, the sign was *not* being held by the Kev-Klone.
The crazed crew at Drunken Edge have finally put up the interview I did
with them a couple months ago, so if this column is too short for you,
go read my interview. (http://drunkenedge.webhostme.com/interv/cenny.asp)
I promise there's no lame-ass stories about how I met my husband or what I did
for a
living at age 11...heh
Cenny
(Hoping to rid the Wrestling World of "waaahburgers and french-cries"
*
but then guys like Austin & Angle would starve to death..)
*credit Kid Rock in the movie "Joe Dirt"