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Fuckwad of the Week Award: July 31st, 2001
Best quote of the week: (credit a poster at alt.pro-wrestling.wwf)
"It said in that interview that Sara is 24 years old. Is that in dog years?"
7/30/01 RAW
This week's FuckWad Award is presented to worthless bimbi taking wrestlers' air time (or wb-twat)
This includes (but is not limited to) the following:
Debra, Torrie, Sara and Billy Gunn....
Hell, why not just include every woman except for the real wrestlers, like Molly and Lita. I also consider Ivory, Tori and Jackie to be real wrestlers, but it's hard to take the last two seriously. How can Jackie remain in an upright position with all that weight on her chest? You'd think she'd fall face-down. Tori's former "love interests", X-Pac & Kane, are just too bizarre.
Stephanie (are those boobs real?) McMahon is the biggest waste of air time, but I'll skip over her, since she just got a PhuhQuad last time.
I'm sure all the real talent, rotting backstage, are just thrilled to see these talentless women on tv, getting their very own air time, instead of being one of an entire herd, doing run-ins that last all of 10 seconds, before cutting to a commercial break (*hisss*)
MiniWads to the following:
1) Matt Hardly: for his see-thru Freddy Krueger shirt. I just know my husband would be thrilled to get a shirt like that! Wouldn't every man?
2) Torrie: if she were a foot shorter, she could be Trish's twin. Christ, even Trish looks talented compared to that old ho!
3) The guy who looks like Bret Hart. It was entertaining to see Bradshaw & Ffaarrooqq kicking his ass.
4) No name tags: We need these (except for the people with no lives who can name each and every wrestler from any fed, even the indys). Just think, if every "new" guy wore a stick-on tag (the kind that say "Hello! My name is ________") for a couple months, we could make fun of them by their actual name instead of saying things like "the guy who looks like Bret Hart." Whaddya say, JR? I *know* you're reading this.....
5) The strange pinning moves the WCW guys use. My "gay-dar" was going off everytime one of them was in the ring!
6) The promo picture of The Holy Blessed Trinity, and also the way they just stood there looking at "dat dead dudley" at the end of the match. It was like, "OK, what do we do now?" My favorite wrestler's credibility is going down the toilet faster than sewage travels through a freshly Roto-Rooter'd commode.
7) Kane: for his costume, which appears to be shrinking (or is Kane growing?) His Chef Barfadee commercial was actually pretty good, except for the apron ("Kiss me-I'm the chef")
8) JR: for his comment, "How much gas is in Kurt Angle?" Well, it depends on whether or not he ate anything with your bar-b-q sauce on it!
9) X-Pac: It figures that he'd get the "cruise-or-wait" belt. Anybody remember the Al Pacino movie, "Cruising"?
10) The return of the Rock: which means Taker will step down a few rungs on the ladder (and after HHH returns, he'll step down even farther...)
Stuff that didn't suck:
a) Seeing Heyman at the announce table again
b) The Tajiri/RVD match
c) The Dudley's Chef Boyardee commercial
d) Lance Storm declaring "shenanigans" on Edge & Christian. So why didn't they all start hitting each other with brooms? (South Park reference)
e) BuhBuh's pre-match promo: "I don't know why he doesn't just leave her at home where she belongs!"
I'm sure he speaks for the entire locker room.
Also, this statement: "DDP can't wait to get his hands around that scrawny little neck..."
Does that make her a pencil-neck geek?
Cenny
(Hoping to rid the Wrestling World of pencil-neck geeks and pencil-neck bimbi)